Letters of Commerce
by JL724
Summary: The exchanging of letters were a prehistoric method of communicating, to be sure, but as Tamaki said, "A beautiful way to stay friends." Kyoya-centric. Rated T for swearing.


Letters of Commerce- An OHSHC FanFiction (rated T for swearing)

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own OHSHC. **

**A/N:** I found this on my hard drive. Looked fun, so I finished it. For those of you who are asking, it is one-shot. STRICTLY ONE-SHOT. Don't ask me to make another chapter about the gala or whatever. I leave that up to your imaginations

P.S. Please excuse any crappy attempt at humor here. I seriously cannot crack jokes. I attempt to, damnit, but I instead make myself look like an utter fool. So with no more further delay, I present to you Letters Of Commerce.

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Letters Of Commerce

_Dear Senpai,_

_How are you? I guess it's pretty formal to start out that way, but I find myself at the lack of words. In the modern age of email and phone calls and texting, it's weird to be writing a letter. But I decided to do it for once, for a change. Plus, Tamaki's breathing down my back right now to tell me for some reason to specifically WRITE to you (Shut up, Tamaki. This is definitely a waste of time, unlike what you said). I'm sorry for not contacting you sooner. Tamaki and I came back a week ago. Daisuke started whining about how he wanted to see you guys. Of course, Tamaki gave in (Daisuke's getting spoiled) so we came back earlier than we expected. How's Ayako? I can't believe you're already having your third child. This is her seventh month, correct?_

_Higashi's quite feisty, isn't he? It seemed yesterday when I saw him as a newborn infant, and you're already having a third child. How frightening. Seeing that Higashi inherited Ayako's temper, I really don't want to see what your third child is like. If she has the combination of both your tempers, that's world denomination. I'm going to feel sorry for you. That's worse than Tamaki and Daisuke put together. You should be thankful, senpai. People these days aren't as lucky as you. So stop radiating Shadow King to your family. It's going to be a bad influence on your sons. _

_Anyways, we should meet up sometime. The whole Host club. It's been a long time since we did that, hasn't it?_

_See you soon,_

_Haruhi_

_P.S. Send my regards to Tsuji and Ayako. Tsuji's getting big. Already a first year in junior high? The last time I saw him, he was still the sweet boy in elementary school. Thank God he takes after his Aunt Fuyumi. Then again, that might not be such a good thing._

**Dear Haruhi,**

**Yes, I received news that you were back. Both Tamaki and the airport contacted me on the day you arrived. You don't have to apologize. **

**Ayako is fine. I expected more mood swings judging how Higashi howls at night, but she seems happier than usual. Maybe it has to do something with that trip I have planned for Bali. Do you and Tamaki care to join us?**

**And might I resent the fact that you tell me that I "radiate Shadow King,"? Even if I do give off such an aura, it'll be a good influence to my children, not bad. How do you think I got to this stage? My father was daily dishing out such auras.**

**I agree with the fact that we'll meet. In fact, Tamaki already has it planned. This Saturday, 5:00 pm. We'll all have dinner.**

**Hoping for the best,**

**Ohtori Kyoya**

**P.S. I'll send the regards, but honestly, doesn't Tsuji take after me? **

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_Kyoya!_

_We're back! I know you already know by your creepy stalker ways, but I decided to give you an impression anyways. I know writing a letter is too "old" for you, but I think it's a beautiful way of communicating with one another. How you spend time trying to think of what to say instead of saying "kk, thx" on email. I don't understand kids these days. What's wrong with them? _

_Anyways, I was wondering if you and Ayako want to come by this Saturday, 5:00. I'm going to ask the others too, but think yourself lucky. You're the only one I'm asking by letter! And I also have to talk to you about the business conference due next week. Please come personally. I don't want to spend another three hours talking to your secretary._

_Oh, and Haruhi's also attending. We're going to leave Daisuke with Ranka-san. I guess she finally decided she needed a break. I think some of my delightfully wonderful persuading had to do with it too. She just can't take no for an answer!_

_So, see you Saturday!_

_Your BEST friend,_

_Tamaki_

**To Tamaki-**

**Please refrain from corresponding with me in this ridiculous manner. I don't mind you sending letters, but I will burn every single one of these if any more idiotic phrasing is even glimpsed. I hope I made myself clear?**

**And don't call me. Email me, mail me, but please don't call me. Especially at 3:00 in the morning. Ayako hit me last night because the phone rang, and I now have a good swelling bruise on my right eye. And, if it's an emergency, call me at a reasonable time. Say, in the afternoons, or in the evenings. Please.**

**I feel honored to know that I am the only one you are contacting through a practically prehistoric method of communicating. Yes, I'll come, but don't try anything foolish. Ayako's mood swings are becoming somewhat unbearable, so I'll send this as a warning. **

**I'll try to come to the conference. It's much more convenient to send a secretary, but since you requested, (as well as Father and Fuyumi and my older brothers), I'll attempt to go. By the way, have you bought into the shares of Nekozawa Pictures Inc.? A wise choice, if I might say so.**

**Sincerely, **

**Kyoya**

**P.S. You're an idiot.**

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_Oi, Kyoya-senpai,_

_Have you heard from Tono? He called me this morning, at freaking 6:00 am, and told me I had to come by this Saturday with Sakurako. He told me to write you a letter, and threatened me with more midnight calls until he heard that I wrote. So, I'm BEGGING you, call Tono and let him know. Okay? _

_And don't attempt me to blackmail me through this. You don't want an all-out feud going on in the business world. _

_Oh, by the way, the wedding date changed. It's not in June anymore, it's in May. Sakurako wanted to do it in June, but I prefer to rush things up. I'll send the official invitation soon._

_Since I'm already stuck writing this letter, I'll just attempt reminiscing with you. You're twenty-seven now, neh? You're old. I'm only twenty-six. And you already have freaking three kids! Two of them sons…damn. You're as lucky as hell. You're going to have a daughter soon, right? Congratulations. Sakurako wants two kids. One girl, one boy. I told her no way in hell was I going to have two kids. My number is four. A pair of twins, and then another pair of twins. Or, maybe, just one pair and then one boy one girl. Either which. _

_Kaoru's ignoring me, now that he's the high and mighty Professor Hitachiin. He went to Oxford this week, trying to speak about some shit about how the mental health responds to indirect links of happiness and whatnot. He reckons that someone in Africa can have an influence on our happiness. I really don't give a damn. _

_So, what's up with you? I heard you're business partners with Renge now. Again. Seriously, do you want her daughter running at your sons and going moe, AGAIN? I bet she reads those stupid comics of hers to her freaking six year old._

_Now, anyways, enough rambling. See you Sat._

_Faithfully yours,_

_Hikaru_

**Dear Hikaru,**

**Thank you for your letter. Yes, I'll be sure to let Tamaki know, but please, do you think I'll blackmail an old friend?**

**Congratulations. Your wedding is two months from now, yes? I assume you're thrilled. Tell me, how does it feel to be marrying a commoner? You and Tamaki are the only people I know who married outside of their social ranks. Of course, Ayako sometimes acts too much like one that I can't believe she's actually the daughter of my rival company.**

**I contacted Kaoru yesterday, and will be attending his lecture. Do you wish to come? I have heard some of his theories, and they're quite brilliant, I daresay. Perhaps he and I could work together in mental therapy.**

**And I'll be sure to tell Renge to have her daughter stay away from my children.**

**Yours Truly,**

**Ohtori Kyoya**

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_Dear Kyoya-senpai,_

_I just received a call last night from Hikaru telling me to write a letter towards you. Something to do with Tono blackmailing him. Anyways, what's this about?_

_Oh, and Hikaru got really pissed off at me. Said I invited you to the lecture and left him out. Let me ask you, when did I ever send you an invitation? I was about to send him one anyways, but seriously, I haven't sent one to anyone. Please. Kyoya-senpai, don't tell me you just randomly told him that. There are more than one ways to making him angry. _

_England isn't so bad, once you get used to it. Funny, I haven't been here since high school. People are going around asking me for tea and so on, and exclaiming over the fact that I haven't been in Japan for more than six months. By the way, I heard you're hosting a gala over here? I heard the Queen decided to come too. Are the rest of our members coming? I hope they would. I haven't seen them for a LONG time. _

_And, quite honestly, Kyoya-senpai, you make me laugh. I just heard that your wife donated close to 10,000,000 yen to charity? How is it that you decided to fall in love with someone the polar opposite of you?_

_On the subject of love, please tell Tono and Hikaru to get off my back about finding a proper wife. I'm sure my time will come. Anyways, there are too many females out there dying to even talk to me, so I can say it's rather scary._

_With all due respect,_

Professor _Hitachiin Kaoru _

**Dear Kaoru,**

**Enclosed with this letter is an invitation to the gala. Yes, the rest of the members will be attending. I apologize if Hikaru was upset with you. Indeed, I wasn't making my way out to make him upset. I just told him I was going to your lecture, that was all. I never said anything about you inviting me. If I had wanted to make him upset, would I have chosen such a method?**

**Tamaki is currently acting like an idiot, so never mind him. Although, it is a break to be writing letters instead of typing emails or calling each other. At least, it's a break from Mr. Suoh's calls in the middle of the night.**

**Please don't remind me of my wife's antics. Or I might just drop a hint or two about your childhood to the Queen.**

**Truly Yours,**

**Ohtori Kyoya**

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_Dear Kyoya,_

_I accept your invitation to the gala. Are the others coming as well? _

_How is your wife? I heard you are having a daughter. Congratulations. _

_I'd like to inform you that Natsumi and I will have to bring Chihiro with us. She hates being left alone._

_Yours Truly,_

_Mori_

**Dear Senpai,**

**It's good to hear from you. I trust Hunny-senpai is coming as well? I hope he'll have his fiancée join us for it. **

**My wife is fine, thank you. Besides the occasional bout of mood swings (and the accompanied violence), she is eagerly waiting for our daughter. Higashi and Tsuji are enthusiastic as well. **

**How is Yuuki by the way? I was sorry to hear about his diagnosis. Please come by our clinic sometime. We have an excellent course of therapy for autism. **

**Ayako has requested if Natsumi can drop by this weekend. She'd like to discuss the menu planning of the gala.**

**And of course, Chihiro, as well as Yuuki, are welcome to the gala. I myself will be bringing along Higashi. **

**Sincerely,**

**Kyoya**

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_Dear Kyo-chan,_

_Of course I'll be attending your gala! Neh, is Takashi going too? I heard from Hikaru the Queen herself is going to be there. Maybe I can ask her about setting up a dojo in the palace. You'll help me persuade her, right? _

_Reiko and I have finally decided our wedding date. It's to be this late June. We're currently printing the invitations and we'll send one as quickly as we can._

_Unfortunately, Reiko can't come to the gala. Her family wants to spend some time with her before she officially moves in as a Haninozuka. I asked Chika if he wanted to come along, but he said he needed to do something that week. I think he found a girlfriend._

_Anyways, Tamaki contacted me and told me we're going to be having a little get together on Saturday. I asked Takashi and he said he'll be going as well. Is it Hosts only, or is it Hosts and Family? I'd love to introduce Reiko to Ayako and Sakurako. They all have 'ko' on their names! Haha!_

_But I heard Kaoru isn't coming. I'll see him at the gala, but there, he'll be Professor Hitachiin. I wish we could have the full club together. Do you know when the next reunion is?_

_Anyways, hope to see you soon!_

_Hunny_

**Dear Hunny-senpai,**

**Thank you for accepting your invitation. I thought it would be difficult for you to attend, seeing that your line of work is expanding all the way in South America. I heard from Mori-senpai, and he told us he would be going. **

**I would be delighted to be of help with the Queen, of course. **

**Congratulations on your wedding. Ayako is eager to meet Reiko, so it is a pity that she won't be coming to the gala. On that subject, yes, the Saturday meeting is hosts and family, as you said. **

**It is highly amusing to think of Chika-kun interested in females. Tell him and your parents I send my best regards. **

**Sadly, yes, Kaoru is not attending out little get together. He has an appointment that day and will not be able to fly over here. But, luckily, I have arranged to have another gathering between hosts at England, after the gala. I think the next reunion is to be held during March or April, when new term begins. **

**Send Reiko-san my regards, and I will see you on Saturday.**

**Yours,**

**Kyoya**

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**WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE AHEAD.**

A/N: And, that is that. I apologize for the bold and italics writing. I normally try to avoiding in this style, but I needed to make clear difference between the receiving and sending letters. I'm hoping to post up a spin off to this soon. It'll be about the high school reunion, and will diverge among the same lines.

P.S. Hunny's fiancée, Reiko, comes out in Chapter 41 of the manga. I intended to use an OC, but it seemed that Hunny was already interested in her. However, Kyoya, Hikaru, and Mori all have OCs as wives/fiancées.

A little note: For those of you who got a bit confused with the families of the hosts, here are the "family trees," as you could call them.

**Tamaki**-Married to Haruhi, has one son, named Daisuke (age 8).

**Kyoya**-Married to Ayako Fujimoto, has two sons, named Tsuji (age 12) and Higashi (age 7). Will soon have a daughter.

**Hikaru-**Fiancée is Sakurako Asuhara.

**Kaoru**-Single, no children.

**Mori**-Married to Natsumi Abe, has a daughter and a son. Daughter named Chihiro (age 8), son named Yuuki (age 13). As you might have noticed, Yuuki was recently diagnosed with autism.

**Hunny**-Fiancée is Reiko Kanazuki.

**Haruhi-**Read Tamaki.

Anyways…sorry for such a long author's note. Just felt the need to explain things…heh. I APOLOGIZE.


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